Patrick Vincent Welsh is the author of Hard Times Galore, a collection of dark and humorous stories concerning the modern American condition. He has stories forthcoming from several journals around the country and has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize. He is from Philadelphia, but now resides in Chicago with a Polish woman and a taxidermy pheasant they’ve named Olga. ---------
Patrick Welsh interview with Meg Tuite
All five of these flash stories, “Canary in the Coalmine,” “Chipmunk,” “Gost,” “Sippy Cup,” and “The Zoo,” have that exceptional mix of pathos and humor. I’m looking forward to reading your collection, “Hard Times Galore”. Can you tell us more about these stories we’re publishing and the collection as a whole?
They run the whole gamut. It took me two years to beautify all the hideousness. The stories are strange and sometimes surreal, but they are about true Americans, the modern Americans who are surviving after the factories have shut down, and after all societal grace has died.
I spent so many years hating and avoiding that modern man, but I’ve finally embraced him. I’ve put my arms around him and our faces are smashed together, and it smells like Wild Irish Rose and hot dogs and I want to document that.
"Beautify all the hideousness,” love that. You told me you had at least a hundred stories laying around that weren’t published yet. You sound incredibly prolific. What is your process when writing a story? Do you go back multiple times to edit a piece or do you send it out right away?
I do write a lot. It makes me a less interesting person, but I feel it’s the right thing for me to be doing.
When I get an idea, I twist it around until it’s stimulating. I edit it a dozen or so times, read it to my old lady, she says, “this is corny,” or “it’s stupid”, or she calls me “perverted.” I work on it further, for days or weeks, until she indifferently shrugs her shoulders – then I know I’ve got something good.
I edit the hell out of these pieces. That’s why I’m so miserable. I walk around thinking about these grotesque characters all day.
Haha! You’ve got a tough critic there. Your old lady sounds like the inside of my head. What are you working on at this time? Any other collections in the works?
I’m putting the final ribbons on Hard Times Galore. I’m not a great businessman but I hope to have it put into one collection and sold by a publishing house in the coming year. I’ve been lucky to have stories accepted by a bunch of journals this year, but I would like for even more people to read my stories, from the Creative Writing major, to the guy who whistles at girls outside of the liquor store, to the guy lying in his cell in the state penitentiary.
I have two novellas I’m nearly done with as well. They are more focused on the literary craft. Lots of labor involved.
How long have you been writing and what compelled you to become a publishing writer?
I’ve been pursuing writing seriously for about five years, since I realized it was my only trade. I can’t fit pipes. I can’t even fix the windows on my house. They’re all torn to pieces. All I can do is write.
I grew up in a post-industrial weird backwards neighborhood in Philadelphia. From infancy I was completely surrounded on all sides by freaks, by the sick, impoverished, hard-working, out-of-work, mean, dumb, sad, holy, ruined, racist, tough people. And I loved them. Everyone I loved had some dark side and when I moved to Chicago, far away from them, it all came back to me and I wanted to write some of the weird living I’d seen, or imagined.
That sounds like Chicago where I grew up. Who are some of your favorite writers? Any that really inspire you in your work?
I’ve read everything William Kennedy has ever written. I’ve even knocked on his door once in Albany. He wasn’t there, but I left him a confusing note about Babe Ruth. He’s the big one. Also of course, Faulkner, Hemingway, Steinbeck’s funny bum books.
The ones that inspired me for Hard Times Galore – Flannery O’ Connor, Studs Terkel, Charles Dickens, Bruce Springsteen.
I love William Kennedy! Who are you reading at this time?
Barbara Frankel – Childbirth in the Ghetto : Folk Beliefs of Negro Women in a North Philadelphia Hospital Ward
That sounds like a great read! Is there any book or collection out there that you were blown away by that you feel anyone and everyone should get their hands on?
Death on the Installment Plan – Celine
I am going to give you five words to use in a micro flash. Would love to see you work your magic with them: plastic, trespass, cauterize, anxious, gamble.
Moldamatic, this great state’s greatest plastics factory, ended all American production last year. By some fluke, they’re still paying for Henry’s therapy visits. Every Wednesday he goes for what the doctor has labeled, “increasing anxiety”. When the doctor asks him how he feels, he says, “Anxious.”
“You see doc, my wife’s goin’ wild since the factory shut down. She’s losin’ it. She don’t clean herself, don’t change her clothes. She’s drunk half the time, high the other. She got arrested for trespassin’ at the high school, they say she was sellin’ fake pills. She’s been gamblin’, she gambled away our rent at a Filipino card game. She’s gettin’ violent too doc.”
Henry rolled up his sleeve, showing the pink purple teeth marks.
“I’m sorry to hear,” said the doctor.
“It’s okay doc. Nothin’ to cry about. Nothin’ that can’t be cauterized.”
That’s exceptional, Patrick. Appreciate your taking the time to pen a micro-flash for us. Can you leave us with a favorite quote that says a lot about your philosophy in life or just works for you?
There’s one line I like, for it’s simplicity, and for it’s power to evoke a hundred other images in the listener’s mind, which is what I’m trying to do with my stories. It’s from Rain Dogs, where he says, “There’s nothing wrong with her that a hundred dollars won’t fix.”
Thank you so much, Patrick, for sending Connotation Press some of your pure brilliance!
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In order to preserve the artistic arrangement of the writing, this piece has been created with Print2Flash Flashpaper.