KenDarian Carter is an English Major at Stephen F. Austin University. ---------
Just Another Day
How is it to be black in America?
To make a long story short, it’s like the two ends of the loaf of bread that no one touches. We honestly don’t know why, but we just despise that part of the bread. We treat it like it’s not bread, like it wasn’t once a part of what once was a loaf. We mortify it by calling it (The Booty Bread, Garbage, The Last Piece of Food On Earth, The Devil’s Elbow, The Bread You Feed Your Dogs). We try to belittle and demonize it. Some only acknowledge it when they’re running low, and need it for selfish gain. While others call it trash and dispose it to where they say it belongs. The only praise it gets is when it’s gone.
*Sighs*
I know you’re probably like what the hell are you talking about, so let me clear it up for you.
Being black is like waking up from a nightmare, only to realize that your reality is a nightmare within itself. Therefore, we live in our dreams, hoping to never wake up because at least in our dreams, we can change our outcomes. If we aren’t dancing, singing, rapping, playing sports, or being used for another’s amusement/entertainment, they could care less about us. Some people want to be black, but don’t WANT TO BE BLACK.
Do you wish you could change the circumstances black people face?
Of course I do, but all this chaos has me mentally exhausted. I can’t even go to the gas station anymore without the thought of me dying in the back of my mind. I get nervous when I see a cop car. It’s like black is another word for criminal, and that’s just another word for NIGGER. It’s crazy how people are scared of us, but in reality we’re scared of the entire world because we honestly don’t know who’s with us or against us.
Some hate it when we say FUCK THE POLICE because not all cops are bad, but riddle me this, if a black man kills someone, do they only shame that person or the entire black population as a whole. You know how many times I’ve heard/read “You people, they always do that, they’re so ghetto, they make me sick, they deserved that.” Now don’t get me wrong, I know that there may be some good people that are cops, but once they put that badge/uniform on, they all look the same. They all have the same equipment, training, and most importantly the same unrestricted power. Therefore what makes them different from the other COPS.
They treat us that way, so we do it back. Now the same pain they’re feeling is only a small portion of how we’re feeling. Let that sink in. While that’s sinking in, think of this too. Why is there always negative connotations and excuses when a cop kills a black man, but when a white man gets killed by a cop, there’s a positive outlook on that person. We get mugshots and the roughest picture ever showcased on TV, but they get a graduation picture or something honorable. We breathe and we might die. They fight back and get what this world calls JUSTICE. I’ve seen a video of a Caucasian male fighting 5 police officers, and you know what they did? They followed protocol and tried to restrain him, but that didn’t work so they used their TASERS. What do you think would’ve happened if he was a black man? Don’t answer that. Just let that sink in.
I’m sorry!
No need to feel sorry for me, sorry isn’t going to change anything. I hate it when other people say sorry for another person’s action. Believe it or not, it makes you seem just as guilty as the person that did it. I don’t despise you for it, but save it for another person and another time. Something of this caliber can’t be healed with a sorry. Change has really become the new word for death because every time there is change, there is death. The two are correlate like day and night.
That’s all I hear nowadays, change this and change that. It’s like everyone wants to start their own revolution. What they fail to realize is the only real revolution happens right inside of you. You can change the world all you want, but sooner or later those inner demons will come back to the light. We can’t continue to do the same thing, that’s why the phrase “History repeats itself,” is so powerful. We keep repeating everything that has been done already, and we keep seeing the same end results.
Believe it or not, but power brings corruption. No matter what the so called “race” is. Power brings greed, which brings us back to square one. We are our own worst enemies. Sometimes we look in the mirror and see who we want to see, not who we need to see. Can’t change the world unless we change ourselves.
*Cop car pulls*
*Awkward Silence*
Peace out!