Diana Khoi Nguyen’s debut collection, Ghost Of (Omnidawn, 2018), was selected by Terrance Hayes for the Omnidawn Open Contest. In addition to winning the 92Y "Discovery" / Boston Review Poetry Contest, she is pursuing a PhD in creative writing at the University of Denver. Her website can be found here. ---------
from After the Fact
woman’s hands holding a bowl beneath a stream of tap water
jade bracelet slipping from the crease in her forearm to her wrist
how does a human arm work what are the names of the bones how many bones
these bones of mine
will it work parts of a robotic arm still work
what parts of the arm do pushups work
it’s a complex particularly inarticulate condition perhaps because K feels
I won’t believe her she won’t believe me yet she’s spontaneous I’m
sincerely watching
I don’t need to question her story I don’t need to question the reality
every video is a document
we simply revel
in movement
video conveys truth if we decide it does
simply reveal in the moment moving from the world around us
my hand like a clasp at her back
we are moving away from
moving toward each other into these other wor(l)d(s) real(m)(s)
finite pleasure
infinite possibility
in the pleasure moving
video a blank video released on video
video, videre, vidi, visus/-a/-um to see to seem (passive)
we see all kinds of interactions
our bodies document
our human document
I walk toward the grey waves turning back only once
O watches me and starts after (he was watching was he
always watching me children do at that age the world pours into them into their open record)
he watches and starts after me
our shoulder blades sharply rise and fall
out of frame D asks “tell me the boy who makes you feel”
(should I tell you how this boy makes me feel)
what could cause shoulder blade pain
what causes pain between
what does it mean when you have pain between your shoulder blades
why do I have a pain in my should
what does the scapula do how many scapula bones
blade or wing bone always connected or paired
videos convey truth if we decide they do
escort together ways
O watches and starts our blades rise and fall
video calls on us to believe
accept this world as actual
copy and original are just strings in different locations
I exist of strands of him and her O exists of strands of him and her O exists
we are strands in different locations different directions
video calls us to this world we inhabit and share
accept it as actual
we take pleasure not just from document but direction as well
he runs back toward the shore
wings outstretched against the wind I follow after
he looks back he is looking he looks
he looks to see if
alone a basis for belief we see what was there before the camera
it must be true
an image cannot tell everything we want to know
what happened
images can be altered during
after the fact
they ask us to do what they want
there is heat in all interaction
this day laughing mid-command
this day quizzing us on birth dates
“Okay O kick” “O come here”
I am writing to make the process of perception perceptible to me
in 1997 benzene was detected in deep space
those related to benzene comprise a diverse family
Hofmann used the word aromatic to designate this dynamic
I like that in video we express ourselves as witnesses in transition
five of us in a row eating cake in silence
we feed ourselves and one of us feeds another
a pitcher of flowers obscures K’s face her hair falls forward each time she lifts the plate toward her face
aromatic molecules are very stable
they do not break apart easily to react with others
poems aren’t true is the video true true to whom
reality itself re-presents itself
I think of myself as a prop placed on the stool
in the chair
K shoves my knees apart or she slams together
I wipe the cake off my shin
care is required
for witness
I think of myself as a recording device
I simultaneous record while re-presenting over and over again I record
over and over I do not record over
however nonchalant I appear
in action we wordlessly ask them to do what we want
actions can grow louder
what do we want
what am I doing
what am I wanting
the more compassion I have for myself the sooner I can