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Visitation
I broke
First
Born
Big
Sister
not so tuff
I broke
Down
face
crumpled
eyes squinting
through
tears
falling freely
finally
falling
not
held back
not
holding back
not
holding up
so well
not
too happy
to see
you
not
really seeing
you
Saw
pale
skin
thin
full
beard
gaunt
stomach
Graying Afro
Man
Walking
towards us
specifically,
towards me
smiling
finding something
to smile
about
I find
nothing
Familiar
in your walk
in your smile
in your hug
I lose
my grip
slip
my hands
underneath
the table
to hide
the shaking
shake
my head
Yes
to questions
I don’t know
the answers to