Saturday Dec 21

ninandrews Nin Andrews is the editor of a book of translations of the French poet Henri Michaux entitled Someone Wants to Steal My Name from Cleveland State University Press. She is also the author of several books including The Book of Orgasms, Why They Grow Wings and Midlife Crisis with Dick and Jane. Her book, Sleeping with Houdini, was published by BOA Editions in 2007. Her chapbook, Dear Professor, Do You Live in a Vacuum, was also published in 2007 by Subito Press. Her next book, Southern Comfort, is forthcoming from CavanKerry Press.

 

 

The Delicate Moment

How often I have heard it said, Seize the moment. And so I did. I seized it, again and again.Until you were that moment. The dwindling moment, forever slipping from my grasp, becoming less and less. Always less. Alas. There is so much sorrow in the grasping. Yes? Now I tell myself, Do not touch moments. Instead I hold them only at arms length. I know their many disguises and how they can hide. In letters, for example, or behind closed doors and a sudden silence. I tell myself, Don’t answer the phone, the door, the mail. Don’t look up from the ground. Even if it’s true that whenever I walk past your apartment on Chagrin Boulevard, I wear only that sleeveless summer dress you loved so, but I never glance up or back. Nor do I answer when you call my name. I don’t listen for the hollow clip of your footsteps as I hurry to catch the next bus, cab, plane. Even if I am forever ascending into the heavens and out of your sight in the spur of the moment, a moment’s notice, a delicate moment. Yes, moments have become so delicate these days, I’m afraid they will vanish altogether. Now we can hardly breathe as we come coming closer and closer to that tiny flame of fear where the moment flickers but does not go out.